Good morning everyone, thank you for joining us today at Trump’s Locker Room News. The only place where conversations are being taped without no one caring. It’s 10 am and the boys are just finishing up their daily “Would you rather?” rounds when it’s Donald Trump’s turn to take over. He looks a bit nervous but he’s got this. He is the master of his domain. The benches are shaking as they wait for Trump’s version.
Donald Trump: “That was a good one Jerri, you are hilarious. Okay, okay, listen to this one. Who would you rather? Hillary Clinton or an unpeeled potato?”
I gotta tell ya, he’s done it again! The tension is palpable in the room, it’s a hard question for all the gentlemen present. They know they will be judged by their answers and they must choose wisely. And here he comes, the first to come on is Vladimir Putin: “Wow Donald, you really knocked it out of the park this time. You always know how to polarize people, I am proud. I am going to go with the unpeeled potato. The potato can give me vodka and that is something that I don’t see happening with Hillary”.
So unexpected! Vladimir decides to give the potato a chance over Hillary Clinton. I am curious what the other gentlemen are going to chose. And it’s Nicolas Maduro’s turn. Mr. Maduro is the president of Venezuela and he has stated many times that he prefers to shower at Trump’s washroom because he, and I quote, “Can drink from the shower while I am taking a bath without having diarrhea afterwards”.
Maduro stands up from the bench and adjusts the towel that is barely covering his stomach. Maduro: “I don’t see the challenge on this one. Of course I choose the unpeeled potato. I mean, I can seduce the potato, expropriate it, then control its price and sell it in the black market. I wonder if I can do that with Hillary?”
There you have it folks, Maduro has spoken and it’s now 2-0 in favor of the unpeeled potato. Does Hillary have a chance? We’re about to find out as it’s Jerri’s turn and he looks a bit nervous, sweating profusely. Jarri: “Is it my turn now? That was fast. Mmmm I don’t know, I would have to balance the pros and cons for each. I mean, on one hand the potato seems very delicious and the fact that it’s unpeeled makes it exciting but on the other hand Hillary is human. Mmmmm, come on Jerri think, think. Do I have to chose only one or can I pick more than one? Okay I chose Hillary”.
And the score changes to 1-2 still in favor of the potato. I guess it’s down to the next two gentlemen to decide who will win this “Who would you rather” game. Mr. Clean stands up, takes his guitar and it looks like he’s about to sing a song, but wait, he smashes the guitar against the floor. He is not happy about something, let’s hear what he’s got to say. Mr. Clean: “I feel like you guys have a problem with the way I clean the washrooms. How else do you explain the reason for bringing your own flip flops when taking a shower? Anyway, I just wanted to point that out. Oh, and I pick Mrs. Clinton because her name is bright and clear”.
And it’s a draw at this point! Anything can happen! Who do we have next? Is Donald Trump himself. I believe I know how this is going to end but who knows? Jerri seems to be having a nervous break down and is shaking in a corner. Who would Trump rather? Hillary Clinton or the unpeeled potato?
Donald Trump: “You all have valid points but I must say that none of you know crap about women. I am going to go with the most filthy option, the one that lives with the dirt and has no shame about it. What can I say? I like nasty women, I vote for Hillary Clinton”.
Jerri’s head explodes.