Congratulations! You did it! You’ve reached the peak of female attractiveness and now you’re a beautiful woman because you have a thigh gap. Now that you’ve attained those enviable thighs that every woman desires, how will you play up that fragility and femininity?

Theatre, my darling! Here’s a handy list of puppet shows you can put on between your thigh gap. For the ultimate thinspiration, put that space between your thighs to good use.

Hansel and Gretel – This one’s great for the kids. What better way to make it clear to the impressionable that they should aspire to look as hot as you, than a story about two kids who were punished for eating candy. This one’s also got a great #fitspo message – they should always leave a trail of carbs wherever they go, because none should ever enter their actual mouth if they want to be as perfect as you.

Waiting for Godot – This can easily be turned into a puppet show – don’t worry! Stun the audience with your #gains by using marionettes to really accentuate the complete and utter lack of fat between those two leg bones of yours. A play that asks the simple questions about the meaning of life is sure to inspire your audience. Allow your perfection to encourage them to take their subjective existences seriously and to hit the damn gym.

My Fair Lady – Another classic! Just as Henry Higgins transformed Eliza Doolittle into someone who can pass for high society, your thigh gap will give you a free ticket to Instafame. Stage this boring old nonsense and force your audience to zone out completely. This really maximizes the attention paid to your thigh gap and allows them the time they need to observe that you truly are #blessed.

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