While others get in their last-last-minute shopping and head home to celebrate Christmas with their families, Jews are already celebrating their favourite Holiday of the year: Cold and Flu Season.
“It’s a wonderful time of year,” raves Hannah Tissenbaum, a 42 year old Jewish woman with a confirmed sinus infection. According to Tissenbaum, and many other Jews surveyed, it is a common misconception that Jews celebrate Chanukah this time of year. “Chanukah is fine I guess. Presents, time with family, latkes. But cold and flu season is much more widely observed.”
For non-Jews that don’t know about cold and flu season, Tissenbaum explains what she loves best about this magical time of year: “It’s the one time of year our Kvetching is warranted, and mirrored by non-Jews all over Canada. Jews have a real reason to go see their doctors, besides being sure an old mole is new. I do feel like this mole on my elbow is new though so once this sinus infection spreads to my inner-ear, I’ll probably toss in a mole inspection while I’m already at the doctor.”
To all our Jewish friends, UNoriginal would like to wish you a wonderful cold and flu season. May your throat-clearing last the designated 88 days and nights.