Steve Kinders is being recognized as a local hero after putting a wildly popular video on YouTube, in which  he popped the question re: “popping her butt cherry”, as he so eloquently expressed. The video, which runs 12 minutes long and features every proposal video trope imaginable, from a choreographed dance put on by a flash mob to a song written and performed by Steve himself, to an appearance from Amber’s favourite childhood stuffed animal, is certainly the first of its kind in this particular genre.

When asked what prompted him to go to such lengths, Steve was characteristically open: “Ya know, I’d tried everything from begging to crying to reverse-psychologizing her, and she just wouldn’t budge, so I figured I really had to pull out all the stops this time.”

When asked if the video had worked as intended, Amber made it very clear that not only was she less interested in anal sex than ever, but she had also broken up with Steve and would soon be changing her name and address. Not one for giving up on his dreams, and extremely one for capitalizing on his 15 minutes of “fame”, Steve is undeterred, and was last seen setting up a gofundme that would allow him to use a sky writer to display “Amber I love you. Take me back and let me put in it your pooper” over her place of work.

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