These days, there are so many games being played. Interfacing online has totally changed the way we interact with each other. It seems that nobody is ever straight up with each other anymore. This all leads to a lot of confusion for many young people today, who are trying to navigate relationships and love. That’s why today, we want to help you out by telling you what your mom really thinks of you.

Your mom didn’t want to broach the subject with you in person because she felt it might be too awkward and that you might cry and she’s not really into that. That’s actually one of the things you should know: Your mom really hates when you cry. She thinks you cry too much. Nothing is so great or terrible. Just, hold it together.

She also wants you to know that you’re not her favourite child, but you’re not her least favourite child. We can’t all be winners all the time, but at least you’re not a loser. Your mom likes you, like would have maybe been friendly with you in an office setting if you guys had known each other through work; but your mom doesn’t think you guys would be outside of work friends, had you met through work, and had you not come out of her vagina.

That’s actually the last thing your mom wanted you to know. She resents you for ruining her perfectly fine vagina. She’s able to get past it most days, but some days she looks at you and wishes you also had a kind of fucked up vagina.

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