Dear Real Estate Expert,

I am moving from Halifax to Toronto very soon. I am quite excited to be leaving, but I have not started looking for a place to live yet. I currently live in the newly-popular North end, meaning I am cool. I spend my days freelancing in coffee shops on Agricola and am looking to live somewhere with a similar vibe in Toronto. Vibes are very important to me and I heard Ossington or Dovercourt could be what I’m looking for. Queen West also seems to have the desired vibes. A little bit about my wish list: one bedroom and a den. I have a dog so he needs his space. And a car, so I need parking. Close to restaurants, cafes, parks, TTC, south-facing, no basements, a view of the CN Tower to remind me of my dreams, laundry on-site, dishwasher, no carpet, separate entrance, and it must a low-rise building or a flat in a house. Nothing on the East side. OK, thanks.

Headed to the 6

Dear Delusional Human,

Thanks so much for your detailed wish list. I carefully compared your list to my current listings and have compiled the following list of matches for your budget. Please be warned that the market here is on fire and these will likely result in bidding wars. Let me know which one you’re interested in ASAP.

1) Trendy hole beneath a basement. This hot new trend may not have hit the East Coast yet, but it is an up-and-coming living situation here in Toronto. Inspired by the subterranean lifestyle of moles, this rental has been burrowed out underneath a sublet occupied by three 27 year old dudes in Parkdale. Your future landlords have thought of everything. Holes have been poked into your ceiling, tunneling out to the surrounding alleyway for fresh air.  You’ll be sure save money as no AC is needed because the mud walls will keep you cool in the summer!

2) A parking spot at the True Bench Condos. Live in a sought after neighbourhood! This is a new condo and townhouse development from Gorman Properties.  Prices for these condos range from the $400,000’s to $1.5 million. This celebrated neighbourhood has cafes, bars, yoga studios – vibes galore. Queen West, Ossington and Dovercourt are all just a short drive or TTC ride away. Embrace the lifestyle! The condos will feature 9 ft. ceilings, wood laminate floors, balconies, terraces, French balconies, custom-designed European-Style cabinetry, and stunning quartz countertops. The glamour fills the entire building, with upscale amenities such as a yoga studio, 24-hour concierge, rooftop pool, party room, pet spa, terrace, lounge, courtyard designed by famed European architect, Dimitri Schnell. The parking spot you call home will be in the parking lot of all of this!

3) Squirrel’s nest. This nest has everything. Just south of the previous option, I have a very popular Squirrel’s nest that just hit the market. A family of squirrels resides here year round and they’ve thought of everything. The inviting nest is decorated with scraps, leaves, old trash. Embracing the Danish concept of Hygge, the owners have added ample squirrel hair to cozy it up. The majority of your rent will go towards paying neighbourhood Chad, who will watch over your new abode from dusk to dawn. This meets all of your criteria except for laundry, it is unfortunately, off-site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.