1. Play waitress

Wait for one of the guys to tap into his peripheral vision and sense you there. When he does notice you, take his drink order. Playing waitress is a great way to make a little pocket cash while your friend finds her potential soul mate.

2.  Confess to stuff you’ve always been too afraid to admit to anyone

Maybe you think the Britney Spears vehicle “Crossroads” was a great film. Maybe you have a very dark fetish. Maybe in a strange domino-like sequence of events, you actually played a small role in your aunt’s death. They will hear you but no one will register what you’re saying. Again, that’s money in your pocket saved on years of therapy.

3. Swap people’s hats

While your friend and her innumerable fans talk about how good she is at Pictionary, quietly go up to one of the suitors and take their hat off of their head. Walk up to another suitor and do the same. Then take the first suitor’s hat and put it on the second suitor’s head. Do this until nobody is wearing their own hat and you feel like the experiment has reached it’s peak.

4. Have sex with the “you” of the other group

While your friend laughs flirtatiously and subtly touches the arm of the “Ryan Gosling” of the group, you ask to “borrow” the “Kevin James” of the group, and then have some depraved sex in the bathroom until you both technically cum.


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