Attraction is a curious thing. Sometimes you swipe right on what looks to be a totally nice-looking dude, only to discover that the way he speaks IRL makes you want to tear the skin off your face. And sometimes, you’re not sure if you’re super attracted to the guy in front of you because of some indescribable and perhaps not yet explicable connection, or because, holy shit, he reaaaaaaally looks like that one picture of your Uncle Ted as a 20-something that you used to let your eyes linger on for just a moment too long. Love, lust, deep-seated memories mired in shame – who can tell the difference these days? Here’s a guide to help you figure it out.

How’s the Conversation?

You may think it’s too early to tell, but if this guy’s your soulmate, there are some pretty solid indicators you can look out for. Does the conversation flow easily? Do you make each other laugh? Do you have common interests? Do you talk about “real” issues? If these elements are present, you may have found the one! Conversely, if you keep calling him “Young-cle Ted” by accident and can’t find much to talk about besides asking him if he’d ever consider growing a handlebar mustache, it looks like you’ve found yourself an Uncle Doppleganger, and you may want to have a long, hard think before scheduling another date.

What Attracts You to Him Physically?

Often, someone’s “forever person” isn’t even their type! Some people date tall blondes for the entirety of their adult lives, only to settle down with a short, dark haired, bearded man. You could say that soulmates find a certain “Je ne sais quoi” in one another that keeps the fire burning, regardless of their physical traits. On the other hand, you may find that this person you’re attracted to has a certain “Je sais exactly quoi, and I don’t want to say what it is out loud”. Yup. This guy just straight up looks extremely fucking like your uncle from 40 years ago, and that’s on you now.

Where Do You See This Going?

Many people confess that they weren’t all that interested in settling down until they found the one person who changed it all. Do you already have a feeling that you could date this person for years to come? That’s good! It means you’ve found something special. Alternatively, if you can’t really see a future with this guy at all but you keep having slightly arousing dreams about him where he morphs into your uncle and gives you very detailed instructions for how to build a time machine so that you can go back to when he was still hot and not your uncle yet to “see what happens”, that’s a problem. Maybe you should forget this guy and take a little break from dating for a while.

Hopefully after checking in with your heart, your soul, and whatever residual Freudian shit you might have going on, you’ve decided whether this guy is your soulmate or, you know… do we have to say it again? YOUR UNCLE, YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO YOUR UNCLE, JESUS CHRIST. Anyway, hopefully it’s the former and you can continue on with your happy life and we can all forget this conversation ever happened.

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