Spring is here, and you know what that means! You will probably be spending more time outside of your house and will need to make provisions for far-from-house-diarrhea!

With that in mind, here is a list of cheeses for Springtime brunch that are sure to make a splash! A splash of diarrhea in your pants that is.

1. Roquefort

This cheese is perfect for impressing the in-laws! It has a moist, crumbly paste, and a sharp, sweet and nutty flavour from the yeast. It will give you diarrhea in about four hours so make sure you locate the washroom in due time.

2. Gouda

Goudas will have a crunchy texture due to crystals of concentrated calcium lactate. Your diarrhea on the other hand will just be full of diarrhea.

3. Camembert

Rich, buttery, and spreadable, Camembert has a mild, mushroomy aroma. Painful, lonely, and dangerous, the diarrhea it gives you has a rank, offensive aroma.

4. Taleggio

At over a thousand years old, Taleggio is one of the world’s oldest soft cheeses. Will it give you diarrhea? Oh, I don’t know. Does a bear diarrhea in the woods?

Well that’s our list of diarrhea! Happy brunching season, and don’t forget to wipe.

 

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