If you’re not 27 years of age and you are still 26 years of age it is not too late for you. 27 is old. But 26 is not. You have time left to live your life and be young. So make sure you do these important life-changing things before you say goodbye to your youth and vibrance and the days of getting carded at the LCBO. #YOLO
1. Pick up a beetle.
Kiss it on its tiny lips and put it back down. Beetles are special. I actually can’t believe you haven’t done this yet.
2. Cross the street by yourself.
I know, I know. It’s super scary. But you’re almost 27, so it’s time. Always wear a helmet. Pro tip: Practice walking across your driveway while your roommate rides her bike up and down it.
3. Shit your pants.
We’ve told you this before. It’s super cool. It’s basically the last frontier of alt living. And once you’re 27, you’ll be too old to be cool. Now is your time. Embrace it and let it happen.
4. Spend a night in jail.
Not thinking you’re the ‘jail’ type? BORING! You obvs haven’t lived yet. We recommend arson or petty theft. Scamming is also a fun and easy way to get to go to jail. Disclaimer: We don’t know how long you’ll have to stay there. Anyways, jail is hot right now and we’re pretty sure anyone in there over the age of 27 is just trying to re-live their youth.
5. Win a Nobel Peace Prize.
Totally doable. Don’t you second guess me or this list. What are you, some kind of under-achiever?
6. Eat a ham sandwich.
This trendy new dish is a staple amongst youths. Don’t like ham? Vegetarian? Gluten-free? Don’t care. #peerpressure. We promise you’ll be better for it.
7. Go down Main St. Turn onto King. Take a right onto Queen. Then through the laneway with the seven driveways and a middle-aged squirrel.
There, you’ll meet an elderly woman who may or may not be a witch and she will give you important life advice. She’s great with the under 27 crowd. But if you’re older, she will probably eat you. But still, you have got to visit her.