It all started three years ago, my best friend Lisa had just gotten a new dog, his name was Groucho. I know, cutest name ever. Anyways, Groucho was the most precious little Labrador you could ever imagine and we instantly bonded. Ever since he was a baby, he would always come sit on my lap no matter what type of food I was eating.

In those three years, Groucho and I would go for walks, cuddle together, had long conversations in which he would ALWAYS listen and he was just present, you know? I know, I understand this love can’t be anything else than a fantasy but the thing is that Lisa doesn’t deserve him. I’ve see how she treats him and how she treats OTHER dogs. I mean, get it together woman, as soon as she sees a dog on the street she goes nuts for them and starts petting them, sometimes in front of Groucho!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if Groucho ever gets on the lose and I happen to be around, I am entitled to take him home and just never speak to Lisa again. Two birds, one dog?

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