The world is literally on fire and political tensions are rising. With the winter season upon us and the snow beginning to fall, it’s important to think about unsafe outdoor conditions. When the Bing Crosby to your Doris Day tells you that it’s too cold outside for you to go home on your own, you can give him a list of ten outdoor conditions that are LEGITIMATELY unsafe.
1.   “There is a thermonuclear war outside PLUS my skin looks terrible today”
2.   “The movie ‘cloudy with a chance of meatballs’ came true and I am a vegetarian”
3.   “There is a group of youths outside wearing skinny jeans”
4.   “It’s summer outside but, let’s be real, I’m aggressively still sporting my winter body”
5.   “There’s an outdoor screening of Paul Blart Mall Cop” (depending on who you are this might be an INCENTIVE to go outside)
6.   “My mom is at the door”
7.   “There’s a skunk outside and it’s the same one that told me I smell bad”
8.   “I have no friends so where do I have to go?”
9.   “I have no job so where do I have to go?”
10. “My grandmother is at the door”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.