Dear Expert,

Nobody ever said relationships were easy. Except for my parents and my grandparents who told me that the secret to a great relationship is to try and keep to yourselves and stick to conversations about the weather and housework. That may have worked for them, but I want something real with my partner. I want to be able to talk about our vastly different stances on abortion and I want to be able to tell him that I hate his parents. So far, that hasn’t worked out too well. We have been fighting constantly, and I often overhear him crying on the phone to his mother while he takes a shit. Recently, I heard him say “We have nothing in common and I hate all the things she says” which, CRAZY ME, I managed to turn into something really negative. So here is my question: Should we maybe try skydiving together or do you think we could just skip that and use a baby to fix this relationship?

Signed,

I May Already Be Pregnant


Dear I May Already Be Pregnant,

Skydiving is a wonderful way to reinvigorate a relationship. It is important to confront relationship issues head-on, by metaphorically confronting them through the bonding experience of sky-diving. That being said, skydiving can only help your relationship as often as you’re willing to spend $200 to go skydiving. A baby, on the other hand, is far more permanent. With a baby, you can take the small differences in your values, and just meld and project them directly onto the baby. This way, you guys don’t have to compromise! You have created something that can absorb both of your disparate, conflicting opinions and emotions. Good luck.

Expert

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