A little brimstone does not mean eternal damnation for your beloved fabrics. Here at UNoriginal, we laundry mavens have all the tips and tricks needed for removing this sulphuric hellfire from your wardrobe’s best pieces.

Down: This cold weather classic deserves a little TLC. Maybe it’s a simple spill, or things got a little fiery in bed when you were fucking that guy your parents refer to as satan (little do they know). Either way, we got you. Pretreat any stains with your parents dissaproval and allow to soak in cold water. Then you can simply wash on delicate in your washing machine. Be sure to dry thoroughly in the dryer to prevent mildew from growing.

Wool: Traditionally a dry clean only fabric, we’re here to tell you that a bit of brimstone from your latest satanic cult ritual is nothing to worry about. You’d be surprised at how versatile this fabric can actually be when properly cared for. So if little hellfire got you feeling a little singed, we can at least take care of that brimstone stain. You’ll need a few basic ingredients that we all have lying around — the hair of a pious man and of course our go-to, the blood of a chestnut mare.

Rayon: This synthetic fabric is basically a godsend. Common in most hooded cloaks nowadays, gone are the days of sending your best dress cloaks off to the dry cleaners. Sure you may have wandered off into the fifth cornice of hell, and although a little less firey than expected, those swampy and dark waters left you feeling a little gloomy. We get it. No one wants to end up with a smidge of brimstone on your best rayon. Fear not, you’ll simply need Styx Stain Remover and a good hard bristled brush. Hand wash, do not tumble dry.

Leather: We’ve all been there – you had your cult over for a ladies night and a little red wine and brimstone landed on your new leather sofa. Fear not. For this little mishap, you just need a simple batch of Mildred’s Finger Spark Tincture Potion. Pre-treat the fabric with a dab of eye of newt and let sit for roughly 10 minutes. Then get out your potion, or whip up a simple batch (recipe found here) and spot treat. Remember, do not surface clean the whole cushion, spot treating and hexes are your friends. This hex can also function to curse the friend that spilt the red wine. Create a lather and let air dry and it’ll be as good as new in the morning.

Got a fabric that needs a little TLC? DM us and we’ll share our expertise.

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