Brittany Toole, Author at UNoriginal

Puppet shows you can put on through your thigh gap

November 16, 2016

Congratulations! You did it! You’ve reached the peak of female attractiveness and now you’re a beautiful woman because you have a thigh gap. Now that you’ve attained those enviable thighs that every woman desir...

Zodiac signs have changed

Brittany Toole

November 14, 2016

News

In a shocking new development, NASA has re-assigned the Zodiac signs after the discovery of a thirteenth sign. This will have a drastic impact on humanity as we know it, explained Astrologist, Jeanine Delaney. ...

I wore butterfly clips for a week – here’s what happened:

Brittany Toole

November 13, 2016

Style

Nothing happened. I wore butterfly clips in my hair....

Trending: Date-night capes

Brittany Toole

November 11, 2016

Relationships

For when you’re feeling low-key witchy, but aren’t ready to introduce him to your coven yet. Popped collar - This preppy look goes great with a simple chino or a cute sundress. Great for a round of mini-put...

Find the right jeans for your unique shape, even you cheese graters!

Brittany Toole

November 9, 2016

Style

Finding the right pants for your body shape can be a real hassle! We’ve all been there: you’re in a fitting room and you've ruined 9 pairs of jeans with your body. Don’t worry, girl - we’ve simplified this exha...

Tinder to launch American Refugee Sponsorship Program in Canada

Brittany Toole

November 8, 2016

News

Tinder has announced that should Trump win tonight's presidential election, it will launch an American refugee sponsorship program in Canada. Record numbers of Americans have been eyeing Canadian real estate in...

Paint Nite to blame for rising number of real artists

Brittany Toole

November 4, 2016

News, Toronto

Reports of an alarming number of newfound artists have surfaced all over small town Ontario. These artists are, by majority, middle-aged women. The cause of this unprecedented rise in the number of real life ar...

All of my favourite fall things have been co-opted by basic bitches

Brittany Toole

November 1, 2016

Style

Attn: My local police precinct Re: I promise I’m not basic. Dear Police,I'd like to file an official complaint. We are deep into fall and I am really frustrated. All of my favourite fall things...

Sad Sam and Honey finally prescribed antidepressants

Woman amputates and deports 10% of her body upon receiving Ancestry DNA results

Extreme cold weather biker grows massive balls, wins society’s respect and admiration

We found all the sleeves from sleeveless shirts and you’ll be SHOCKED at what they’re up to now

Murderers have more fun, study shows

(Classifieds) For sale: 87 butter packets, unopened

Brave woman refrains from vomiting after bf refers to himself and penis as ‘we’

Trending: Date-night capes

“I can’t really complain, my boyfriend clips his own toenails”

Family Day is the best day to tell your kids you’re getting divorced, according to study

The sexiest ways to unleash the rest of your personality this valentine’s day

5 Signs your valentine could be The One

4 Date ideas to trap him into committing this Valentine’s

Non-verbal cues are impossible to read, unless I’m in my improv class

Golden Globes extended to 17 hour ceremony to include in memoriam

Seven reasons why Tom Hanks’ backyard social was the worst of the year so far

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

Brutal true crimes stories that will make you say “Richard Belzer still gets a lot of work”

17 innocuous yet eloquent things to say while watching the Olympics

50 Shades of Grey, or my experience painting an asylum

Celebrity couple gives birth to baby boy, through tandem vaginas

I went to a warehouse party this New Year's Eve but ended up competing in a game to the death put on by rich people

11 Toronto squirrels that are absolutely killing it on Instagram right now

Extreme cold weather biker grows massive balls, wins society’s respect and admiration

ISO: Tokens. Trading: Womb to grow 3 babies

5 things to do in Toronto if you’re fucking a real life grandpa

5 things to look at during the no-pants subway ride that won’t make you seem like a pervert

I really can’t stay, but baby there’s a thermonuclear war outside

Zodiac signs have changed

I wore butterfly clips for a week – here’s what happened:

Trending: Date-night capes

Find the right jeans for your unique shape, even you cheese graters!

Tinder to launch American Refugee Sponsorship Program in Canada

Paint Nite to blame for rising number of real artists

All of my favourite fall things have been co-opted by basic bitches

Author Brittany Toole