Darren Springer, Author at UNoriginal

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

April 5, 2018

1) Tom Hanks Tom Hanks has a reputation for being one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, and my experience certainly confirms that! The $2.5 million I extorted from the Forrest Gump star in exchange for not...

EDITORIAL: Millennials are ruining the paint job on my John Deere riding mower

Darren Springer

February 9, 2018

Lifestyle

Believe me: I would love nothing more than to give today’s young people the benefit of the doubt. I understand that each generation of kids is derided by previous generations as lazy, soft and entitled. However...

Three celebrities we lost in 2017 who I completely made up

Darren Springer

January 8, 2018

Entertainment

2017 saw the deaths of many beloved entertainers from the worlds of stage and screen. Those performers will be paid tribute to in obituaries in major media outlets and in award-show “In Memoriam” segments. But ...

LOCAL MAN REAPS SURPRISING AMOUNT OF BENEFITS FROM SKETCHY APPEARANCE

Woman amputates and deports 10% of her body upon receiving Ancestry DNA results

Sad Sam and Honey finally prescribed antidepressants

Extreme cold weather biker grows massive balls, wins society’s respect and admiration

We found all the sleeves from sleeveless shirts and you’ll be SHOCKED at what they’re up to now

Murderers have more fun, study shows

(Classifieds) For sale: 87 butter packets, unopened

Ex’s new girlfriend probably a fucking extrovert

“I can’t really complain, my boyfriend clips his own toenails”

Family Day is the best day to tell your kids you’re getting divorced, according to study

The sexiest ways to unleash the rest of your personality this valentine’s day

5 Signs your valentine could be The One

4 Date ideas to trap him into committing this Valentine’s

Non-verbal cues are impossible to read, unless I’m in my improv class

Seven reasons why Tom Hanks' backyard social was the worst of the year so far

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

Brutal true crimes stories that will make you say “Richard Belzer still gets a lot of work”

17 innocuous yet eloquent things to say while watching the Olympics

50 Shades of Grey, or my experience painting an asylum

Celebrity couple gives birth to baby boy, through tandem vaginas

Four books I pretended to read so that I could fuck people in libraries

Neighbour makes cheeky quip about unseasonable weather

11 Toronto squirrels that are absolutely killing it on Instagram right now

Extreme cold weather biker grows massive balls, wins society’s respect and admiration

ISO: Tokens. Trading: Womb to grow 3 babies

5 things to do in Toronto if you’re fucking a real life grandpa

5 things to look at during the no-pants subway ride that won’t make you seem like a pervert

I really can’t stay, but baby there’s a thermonuclear war outside

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

EDITORIAL: Millennials are ruining the paint job on my John Deere riding mower

Author Darren Springer