Entertainment

Seven reasons why Tom Hanks’ backyard social was the worst of the year so far

April 22, 2018

By Joel Edminston I went to a party in Tom Hanks' backyard and had an absolutely terrible time. I know I'm going to get accused of being too negative for this, but listen, if I wrote reviews for all the exceptional backyard socials I've gone to, I'd be writin...

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

Darren Springer

April 5, 2018

Entertainment

1) Tom Hanks Tom Hanks has a reputation for being one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, and my experience certainly confirms that! The $2.5 million I extorted from the Forrest Gump star in exchange for not reporting his extramarital affair to his wife and...

Brutal true crimes stories that will make you say “Richard Belzer still gets a lot of work”

Laura Leibow

March 20, 2018

Entertainment

Truth is often stranger than fiction, and this couldn't be truer when it comes to some of history's craziest homicides. Society has long been fascinated by murderers and their victims, because it's very fun to think about the death of a real person that had a ...

17 innocuous yet eloquent things to say while watching the Olympics

Brittany Toole

February 19, 2018

Entertainment

Sports! There's just so many of them on television right now. And if you've found yourself in a crowd of people who really love to watch the sports, you may want to impress them with your knowledge. Here are 17 innocuous yet eloquent phrases for the next time ...

50 Shades of Grey, or my experience painting an asylum

Laura Leibow

February 16, 2018

Entertainment

The year was 1961. The new nuthouse had just been built and I was commissioned to paint it. It was a different time. We were still allowed to say "nuthouse". I asked the contractor what he wanted. He whispered, sensually, "50 Shades of Grey." I knew then that ...

Celebrity couple gives birth to baby boy, through tandem vaginas

Brittany Toole

January 30, 2018

Entertainment

Darren and Helen VonSternen welcomed a healthy baby boy this past Sunday. Weighing 8lbs 7oz, parents and newborn are doing well according to the couple’s reps, they are “beyond thrilled to finally be parents”. They are choosing to keep the details of the birt...

Four books I pretended to read so that I could fuck people in libraries

Laura Leibow

January 29, 2018

Entertainment

I'm on a journey. Last year I decided I was going to start fucking people in libraries in order to learn more about myself and maybe learn how to read. Today is day 364 and I've learned a lot. I've learned that I'm more resilient than I thought I was. ...

Three celebrities we lost in 2017 who I completely made up

Darren Springer

January 8, 2018

Entertainment

2017 saw the deaths of many beloved entertainers from the worlds of stage and screen. Those performers will be paid tribute to in obituaries in major media outlets and in award-show “In Memoriam” segments. But whither the fictional celebrities, the ones who ex...

Beyoncé is forming a human pyramid scheme

Anonymous

May 14, 2017

Entertainment

Ever notice that Beyoncé keeps adding an extra baby to each pregnancy? First she had daughter Poison Ivey (check that name is correct) and now she is pregnant with twins! Rumour has it that Beyoncé is going to add yet another child to her next pregnancy and, i...

Just a friendly reminder that you haven’t traveled back in time, it’s just Coachella weekend 2

Brittany Toole

April 21, 2017

Entertainment

Coachella weekend 2 is upon us. And before you have a moment tomorrow scrolling through your Instagram feed and your feed looks exactly the same as last weekend, and all the bloggers and models are wearing flower crowns and an assortment of would-be boho chic ...

LOCAL MAN REAPS SURPRISING AMOUNT OF BENEFITS FROM SKETCHY APPEARANCE

Woman amputates and deports 10% of her body upon receiving Ancestry DNA results

Sad Sam and Honey finally prescribed antidepressants

Extreme cold weather biker grows massive balls, wins society’s respect and admiration

We found all the sleeves from sleeveless shirts and you’ll be SHOCKED at what they’re up to now

Murderers have more fun, study shows

(Classifieds) For sale: 87 butter packets, unopened

Hot tips for how to ghost on Kyle

“I can’t really complain, my boyfriend clips his own toenails”

Family Day is the best day to tell your kids you’re getting divorced, according to study

The sexiest ways to unleash the rest of your personality this valentine’s day

5 Signs your valentine could be The One

4 Date ideas to trap him into committing this Valentine’s

Non-verbal cues are impossible to read, unless I’m in my improv class

Get Kylie Jenner's lips (off of her face and onto yours)

Seven reasons why Tom Hanks’ backyard social was the worst of the year so far

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

Brutal true crimes stories that will make you say “Richard Belzer still gets a lot of work”

17 innocuous yet eloquent things to say while watching the Olympics

50 Shades of Grey, or my experience painting an asylum

Celebrity couple gives birth to baby boy, through tandem vaginas

Canadians cancel Canada 150 mere two weeks into 2017

11 Toronto squirrels that are absolutely killing it on Instagram right now

Extreme cold weather biker grows massive balls, wins society’s respect and admiration

ISO: Tokens. Trading: Womb to grow 3 babies

5 things to do in Toronto if you’re fucking a real life grandpa

5 things to look at during the no-pants subway ride that won’t make you seem like a pervert

I really can’t stay, but baby there’s a thermonuclear war outside

Seven reasons why Tom Hanks’ backyard social was the worst of the year so far

Five celebrities I’ve blackmailed ranked in order of how negatively it affected my friendship with them

Brutal true crimes stories that will make you say “Richard Belzer still gets a lot of work”

50 Shades of Grey, or my experience painting an asylum

Celebrity couple gives birth to baby boy, through tandem vaginas

Beyoncé is forming a human pyramid scheme

Just a friendly reminder that you haven’t traveled back in time, it’s just Coachella weekend 2