News

Sad Sam and Honey finally prescribed antidepressants

Today justice was made — today is a day to celebrate that dreams really do come true, and to finally put a stop to puppies' sadness exploitation. This day will be remembered as the last day of Sad Sam & Honey®'s very sad life. After more than 35 years o...

Murderers have more fun, study shows

Well ladies! We've just confirmed what we've all known all along: murderers have more fun than their non-murderous counterparts! The study was published by the same researchers that brought you "Intelligent people drink more alcohol" and "Hot people are bet...

(Classifieds) For sale: 87 butter packets, unopened

Hi all, I'm officially Mrs. Cooke! We're back from the honeymoon and looking to sell some stuff leftover from the wedding. We've got 87 unopened butter packets left from the reception. We served rolls for our special day :) Super creamy. Very convenient. Perfe...

Defective bride found wandering bakery

A defective bride was found late Sunday afternoon wandering the King and Portland bakery, Forno Cultura. Sources say she was stable, but many witnesses are doubting her mental capacity, as she was seen handling carbs and seemed to show intent to purchase. T...